1 April, 2006

Each Man Kills the Thing He Plugs

Posted by alex in isn't it ironic? at 6:02 am | Permanent Link

Dirty Eco-Tourists Killing Gorillas

Gorilla UGANDA — Scientists investigating the cause of death for gorillas in Uganda, Rwanda and the Congo, determined that many of the gorillas were killed by dirty eco-tourists.

“These eco-tourists tend not to bathe, and that allows harmful bacteria to invade and kill these helpless creatures when they come into close proximity,” said Dr. Harry Simian. “While these granola types might love nature, their poor hygiene is killing the very thing that they love. We’ve tried to require that everyone bathe before going to tour the gorilla habitat area, but it’s like trying to put a cat in a bath with these people. They just won’t let soap touch their bodies.”

Rangers in the protected sanctuary have begun training the gorillas to flee when they smell the eco-tourists coming their way. The future of the species could depend upon their success in teaching the gorillas to recognize the scent of eco-tourists and run away.


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  3. 6 Responses to “Each Man Kills the Thing He Plugs”

    1. Jim Says:

      Ummm. The good doctor’s name is Harry Simian?

    2. Jim Says:

      I didn’t know Orthodox jews were big on eco-tourism. Don’t want to get downwind of them on a hot day in Jew York City.

    3. Lutjens Says:

      True, they do stink.

    4. Bolg Says:

      “GD hippies!”

      Eric Cartman

    5. Carpenter Says:

      An April Fools joke?

      Hilarious, though.

    6. furandloathinginDFW Says:

      The last I heard the biggest killer of gorillas was the niggers eating them as they mined the forests for coltan, a substance used in our cell phones.