31 July, 2006

Lines

Posted by alex in Fox News for Children, lines at 9:39 pm | Permanent Link

If I was Greta Van Susteren, I wouldn’t let the camera shoot me from the side.

Which side?

The outside.

Seriously, that woman is scary-ugly. Her chin always looks like it’s clenching to deliver a punch. The weird and frightening thing is that at least two other potentially normal to cute Foxies are screwing up their jaws in some pattern-parroting half-conscious female way.

Aside from her you-lookin’-at-me grimace, van Susty is less obnoxious than most on Fox. The so-called liberal Colmes is probably the least offensive, simply because he doesn’t smirk or mug, and seems to be pretty much the lone camera object on the channel that doesn’t think he’s Jesus II.

Comedy 101:

Why is it funnier to call Susser disturbingly womanish than disturbingly mannish?


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  7. 11 Responses to “Lines”

    1. Even A Nigger Wouldn't Fuck Greta Says:

      Greta ain’t no Garbo, dat fo’ sho’.

    2. alex Says:

      She’s less offensive than, to pick two, Coulter and Ingraham.

      There are simply so many hours to fill, and such a limited range of opinions is allowed on the topics, that each one shrinks in very short order to a battle of bumper stickers. The goal of the “interview” is to jam the bumper sticker over your opponent’s mouth before the last word of the question leaves yours. So, you start asking the lib about Iraq, and as you see his mouth begin to open, shriek “Cut and Run” and plaster him shut. This passes for wit among the Foxview Glen set. At first, if you’re intelligent, you think they’re being cynical. Some are, but many aren’t. Their minds aren’t big enough to encompass degrees or shades. These are weaknesses. Those who oppose Israel are terrorists. All that remains is the bleating. Middle-class people of the type that preach from and listen to Fox are not capable of perceiving, pondering, and deciding. They can think instrumentally, after a fashion, but that’s it. They haven’t the internal wherewithal to consider as active possibility, that they aren’t the good guys. Their emotional exoskeleton must not be cracked, or like the noble beetle, they succumb. They are hollows covered with skin; human drums; capable of one note and no melody. Which is not to say the liberals are right. They are wrong for different reasons in different ways.

    3. alex Says:

      I swear though, some of these middle easterns have the most unbelievable noses. I should pay dearly for a time-lapse succession of their proboscitic evolution. The yooman race is headed in many interesting direction. Every man a species!

    4. MadScienceType Says:

      Nice summation of Fox Jews Channel and its herd of watchers, alex. Certainly, Greta’s ugly enough to break your watch, but for my money, John Gibson is the biggest cunt on that network, barely squeezing out O’Reilly and that other Irish midget, Hannity. No matter how much makeup they plaster on these flapping vaginas, you can see, if you look close, jewish cum invariably dripping out of the corners of their mouths when they speak. I guess they bend over and fellate Foxman and Dees just under the desk during commercial breaks.

      The deference with which ALL the networks treat kike guests* is embarassing to me as an American. More times than I can count the past few weeks, they have had the jew kapo (ambassador) to the U.S. on for interviews and he is invariably treated as royalty and tossed softball questions even a nigger third-grader should rightly be ashamed to answer, which the kapo does with an amazingly straight face. Contrast this to the treatment any guest even tangentially related to defending the Arabs or even calling for an end to the slaughter. The newscasters get irate, rude and, as you point out, cut him or her off with a ready-made bumper sticker slogan. “Well, I guess you’re not going to answer a simple yes-or-no question, then!” they huff when the guest refuses to fall into a semantic trap designed to make the yahoodies look like innocent vicitms (yet again).

      *Every time I see Bill Kristol the uber-jew, I want to barf. The smell of gefilte fish just wafts out of the jew-tubes in waves.

    5. burrhus Says:

      Yes, Greta is ugly but in a cute, appealing sort of way.

    6. Shabbos Shabazz Says:

      She has had surgery. . .

      http://www.talksurgery.com/consumer/new/new00000099_1.html

    7. 8Man Says:

      GvS is an ardent Scientologist. So if she’s already imersed her mind in LRH’s scifi fantasy, it should be easy sailing at Fox News.

    8. MadScienceType Says:

      “She has had surgery. . .”

      She should demand her money back and then sue for damages!

    9. van helsing Says:

      Nah. yall should have seen her before the surgery. Poor docs did the best they could with VERY limited resources. What do u think that surgery was – a head transplant?

    10. wayne h. Says:

      Now ,now Alex .I’ll bet you wish you had a nose like that full of nickels

    11. mick Says:

      she reminds me of the old joke “did your face catch fire? did they try to put it out with a tireiron?”