Vanguard News Network

by Arch Stanton.

A big problem that jews have today is with numbers. No, not financial numbers like the ones in your bank account – they have no trouble with those. The problem is their population count: these days there just aren’t enough jews to go around. Let’s say a wealthy-beyond-comprehension jew wants to jet off to enjoy a peaceful holiday on his private island; who will mind Fagin’s store while he’s gone? Consider for a moment the problem of a Goldman or a Sachsman who has developed yet another massive Ponzi scheme that is nicely draining the bank accounts of the stupid goyim. Of course, he can use various electronic methods to keep his fingers in the till when he’s away, but then it really isn’t much of a holiday, is it? So what’s a busy parasite to do? How can one keep the theft going if one’s not there to personally oversee the parasitical operation? Well, thanks to the new decepto-bots, the jew’s worries are just about over because these new robojews are capable of deceiving humans. They’re programmed to convincingly lie just like their almost-human Hebrew counterparts.

Developers say the only problem they found with the design was that the robojew had even less empathy than the average real jew, so they changed it to make it more empathetic to the suffering it causes. As one developer revealed, “We had a problem with the robojew wanting to murder defenseless Palestinian children.” While reprogramming the robojew wasn’t too difficult, a more problematical situation arose in the robojew’s representation of its actions. The robot’s initial response to Palestinian kids was something like, “Snotty little Arab bastards, they all need killing, because they aren’t worth a single jewish fingernail!” However, after developers carefully rewrote the algorithm, the robot’s response became a more-reasonable-sounding “Oy veh! We were rushing to help these poor Palestinian children by bringing them food when suddenly they rose up en mass and attacked our tanks with rocks! When we heard the hand-guided missiles hitting our tanks, we were terrified! We knew then that our lives were in imminent danger, therefore the children compelled us to machine-gun them all, purely in self-defense!”

Picture this: a goy client is being interviewed by the new Mk1 android Adam Banker while the real banker is off yachting in the South of France: “Of course our new 402j retirement plan is perfectly safe! Why, a clever fellow like yourself simply cannot lose by investing your money in such a plan! Would I lie to you?” And what about the political jew? What about when they need time off? Perhaps you can envision a Nano-Nancy Verbosi or tiny Tom Lantern decepto-bot pushing through yet another House bill to expand unrestricted immigration or gun control.

Yes, folks, just consider the problem a very important jew (VIJ) faces when he wants to spend a relaxing weekend in Tel Aviv beating and abusing his shiksa slave. At the ready with jackboots glossed and whip in hand, how can this top government official possibly relax knowing he will have to be present for the Monday morning vote to increase funding for more US-made bunker-busters for Israel? Thanks to the robojew, he can now beat his shiksa slave half to death, comfortable in the knowledge that his words will be faithfully (mis)represented by an electro-mechanical doppelganger capable of spinning lies with a perfectly straight-frozen face. Just think of the variety of roles these lying ‘bots could play in hastening the jew’s destruction of western civilization! The mind fairly boggles at the thought!

The robot is also capable of dealing with complex math problems that only, uh, Einstein might have been capable of computing. Let’s listen in as a decepto-bot math teacher begins its lesson to a class of goyim children:

“We begin our problem today by considering the 2.5m jews in Europe during WWII. Out of those 2.5m victims, 6m were heinously exterminated in the evil Nadzee’s death camps. Of course, we must subtract 1.5m victims that were proven not to exist. Then we must subtract another 2.5m that were later proven not to exist either. So how many horribly-murdered victims remain? Tragically, the answer is still 6m! We call this a ‘permanent jew-number.’ It cannot be altered by any rational means!”

Finally, one might imagine the reply of one of these cyborgs trading on the floor of the stock exchange when he is told, “I’m sorry, sir, but the bell has rung and all trading is closed for the day.”

Robojew: “Ok, but I’ll be back!”

Robots Capable of “Deceiving Humans”