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Movie Review: 'The Cat in the Hat'
by Derek Powling
24 November 2003
Reading to your children is a worthwhile bonding and learning experience. Most older books are entirely suitable. I have found my children find the rhyming and whimsical nonsense of the Dr. Seuss books to be enjoyable. I made the mistake of expecting the same from the movie "The Cat in the Hat." Now, I am not an imbecile, and after several recent readings of both "The Cat in the Hat" and "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back," I found little similarity between the books and the movie.
Off I went to the movie, with two of my children. They are both below school age but very bright and already reading simple words and sentences. They were very excited about going to see this movie. After nearly twenty dollars in tickets, followed by another ten for their small servings of popcorn and soft drinks, we sat down. We were treated to a preview of a movie starring a young white actor portraying a spy, and of course his super-hip, wisecracking, and oh-so-cool black partner loaded with "fat-itude." Then came a preview for an equally disgusting "Shrek" sequel, complete with, you guessed it, a character voiced by another oh-so-cool black sidekick with attitude. Finally, the movie began.
Now, in the books, although not present, the children have a mother and a father. Here, we are treated to a pair of dysfunctional "tweens" with a single mom. Their neighbor is the currently acceptable "white male slob idiot" who has eyes on their mother. Nice change, just what we needed. In comes the cat. A completely jewish-acting and -sounding character not at all like in the books. We are treated to numerous lewd jokes, including his hat acting like an erection, plenty of farts, burps, and toilet jokes. Now, what do you suppose had this influence on the movie? Other than the characters' visual appearance, I found little similarity with the books. After the excitement of seeing the cat interacting with real people, my children quickly became bored. They could not even regain interest after the cat and the two children entered, and -- this was just so necessary to the movie -- a rave scene. After both children asked to go home more than once, I agreed.
Financially, I am lucky enough not to sweat a wasted 25 or 30 dollars. In ways more important than money, I am rich enough to have young children who already know crap when they see it and want nothing to do with it. Should you be less fortunate in financial terms, please avoid wasting your money on this movie. And, more important, should you have more impressionable children, spare them the influence of seeing this movie. Find them some books to read instead.
DEREK POWLING
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