|
Dr. Goldstein, the Human Genome Project and Leroy
by Carter H.
2 December 2003
Hello Leroy. I'm Doctor Goldstein, your psychologist and career counselor.
Glad to meet you.
Science has brought us a long way towards understanding ourselves, Leroy.
This human genome project is helping us to plan the future. Takes the chance
out of everything. We've completed our gene sequence on you, the one we run
for reparations benefits and employment capability. You came up a big
winner, boy!
Let's take a look at your genetic chart together:
You're 100% Bantu nigger-monkey.
You've got the blue-gummed, boot-lip Somali Bantu gene.
You got the thick skull gene. You IQ should be somewhere in the range of 52
to 61.
Your propensity for and ability to climb trees is two standard deviations
above the norm.
You've got the big wide-ass gene and the smell like shit gene.
You're got the crack prone gene.
You got the Voodoo spiritual gene -- you will enjoy chicken blood orgies but
should try to avoid the "evil eye".
You got the dick hangs below the knee gene.
Your testosterone is so far off the charts that your brain buzzes 99.9% of
the time with thoughts of beating or fucking or queering any animal or human
of any sex in any orifice, anywhere.
The boundaries of your thought processes will jump back and forth between
fucking or beating anything that moves and sucking down malt liquor.
You can run like the wind but you won't know why you're running or where you
are going.
You've got the same gene we isolated in those Pygmy-eating Bantus in the
Congo. Try to clean up after yourself, Leroy.
There's a 99.9% probability you will rape and murder before the age of 13.
That's why you've arrived here in our care in the first place. Isn't it,
Leroy? There's a 99.9% chance you will not survive violent death by your
21st birthday, and on the .1% chance you do survive, there's 100% chance
you'll die of AIDS-complicated cancer by age 22.
We ran a blood test too and you are already HIV positive -- we won't tell. But
that's nothin'. Cause, as a matter of fact, every time you scratch your ass
you compact 22 life threatening viruses and diseases under each single
fingernail.
Oh yeah, you've got a natural born to boogie gene too. Use it productively.
There's a 100% probabilty you don't understand one word I say, but after
your two week Head Start College education program, you'll be a goddammed
genius.
Ain't science great? Relax Leroy. You've got what it takes in Amerikwa. Life
is gonna be good Leroy!
Soon as you get your degree, we're puttin' you on a plane to Dubuque or
Peoria. We're gonna' get you plenty of reparations and White nurses and
secretaries to batter and hump. A couple of phone calls, and you'll become a
state cop, a judge, a financial analyst, a brain surgeon, a Governor -- you've
heard of Marion Barry. You even look like him. People will look up to you,
Leroy.
We'll let you know all the final details next week.
See you in class, Leroy.
Hey Guard. We're finished. Remove Leroy's gag and cuffs and put his black
ass back in the cell.
Next!
CARTER H.
|