America's Sweethearts

by Mark Rivers

The Jew Joe ROTH has made a movie about the phony, bloodsucking Jews. America's Sweethearts is about a Hollywood actor couple, Eddie (John Cusack) and Gwen (Catherine Zeta Jones), who go through a nasty breakup, but must get back together to promote their final film before its release.

Billy CRYSTAL is Lee, the film's publicist. He is assigned to orchestrate the promotional press junket, as well as the ersatz reunion of Eddie and Gwen. Seth GREEN (yes, he's also a Jew) plays Lee's dimwitted prodigy. Julia Roberts (whose very presence is guaranteed to bring in the teen girl, overweight secretary and soccer mom box office receipts) is Kiki, Gwen's wallflower sister/assistant, who has been secretly in love with Eddie for quite some time.

Gwen, along with her "Spaniard" lover, Hector (the Sephardic Jew Hank AZARIA), is the most evil person in the film. She is even less likable than the bloodsucking Jew producer, David Kingman (Stanley Tucci).

The fly in the ointment of the press junket is artsy, difficult director Hal Weidmann (Christopher Walken). He refuses to show the film to the studio until the press is present. He shows up at the last minute, rolls the film in front of the cast, producer, and 300 members of the international press, who learn of his true intentions. Instead of making a real movie, he used outtakes, hidden cameras and embarassing behind-the-scenes footage of the actors and producer.

The press (and the audience) enjoy seeing Gwen for who she really is; a bratty bitch. They also enjoy seeing Kiki and Eddie finally declare their love for one another at the end.

Since Billy Crystal wrote the script, there are a couple of references to his arch-enemies, the Germans. He refers to a snarling dog as a "Nazi Bastard," and Gwen and Eddie's final film takes place in evil, scary, Nazi Germany.

There are only a few negroes in the film. The only one featured prominently is a friendly, articulate negro movie critic (they even mention his website--how accomodating of them).

Although the movie makes fun of Hollywood Jews, it never comes right out and says, "Jews are bloodsucking monsters whose ultimate goal is the destruction of the White race." That's okay, though; I don't mind saying it, for the benefit of White audiences who haven't quite realized it yet.

America's Sweethearts parodies typically asinine Hollywood movies. However, it is guilty of some of the very things it lampoons: 1) the nice guy gets the nice girl, 2) they kiss at the end for an applauding crowd, 3) there is no shortage of slapstick or jokes about sex and scatology, and 4) Billy Crystal gets oral sex from a Doberman.

Yes, beastiality is made into a joke in this movie. It's not a running gag, nor is it pivotal to the plot (unlike The Animal, directed by Luke GREENFIELD and starring/written by Rob SCHNEIDER), but it's the sort of thing that will be done over and over until the masses start thinking it's normal, just as they now consider miscegenation and homosexuality normal.

Picture, if you will, the year 2021. The Abramowitz Act legalizes beastiality, and the ADL of B'nai Brith shows its support for NAMALA (North American Man-Animal Love Association) by funding the following film.

VOICE OVER: Coming this summer...from Hymie Finklestein Films...a Percy Q. Tid production.

EVIL WHITE GUY: We, the decent, White citizens of the Ku Klux Klan are not going to stand for this horrible...thing. Also, we hate blacks for no good reason. Oh, and Jews.

VOICE OVER: In a world where hate and intolerance rule...

PERSECUTED NEGRO: As the president of Harvard, and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, I would like to submit this report on animal love...(gunshot)...ARRGH!

VOICE OVER: One man has the guts to stand up for what is right.

PERVERT: We are NOT freaks! We are no different from any of you! (crowd cheers)

EVIL WHITE GUY: I'm going to kill all of you. I'm really violent. I'm full of hate, because I'm secretly gay.

REFORMED WHITE GUY: I can't let you do this, man. Can't you see that they have feelings, too? Why must there be so much hate? Why? WHYYYY? (gunshot) ARRGH!

VOICE OVER: They shared a forbidden love...

PERVERT: I love you, honey.

CHICKEN: Cluck!

VOICE OVER: But it was love that would set them free.

PERSECUTED NEGRO (from hospital bed): Don't give up the fight, kid...don't give up...ugggggh.

PERVERT: Noooo! Why? Whyyyy?

VOICE OVER: This summer...get ready to hate White people all over again.

EVIL WHITE GUY: Oh no! My plan to blow up the chicken lovers' convention has backfired, because I'm such a backwoods idiot. AIEEE! (explosion)

PERVERT: Now THAT'S what I call "all clucked up!" (crowd laughs, cheers)

VOICE OVER: "Chicken Love," coming soon to theatres everywhere. Get your collectible "Chicken Love" tumblers at finer fast food restaurants everywhere.

AVERAGE MORON IN AUDIENCE: We gotta go see that.

You get the idea.

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