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A DIALOGUE BETWEEN ADOLF HITLER AND ME
"Yes!" he cried. "We've been on the wrong track! Consider how an astronomer would handle a similar situation. Suppose that he has been carefully observing the motion of a certain group of celestial bodies over a long period of time. Examining his records, he suddenly notices something amiss: 'Damn it!' he says. 'Something's wrong here. Normally, these bodies would have to be situated differently relative to one another; not this way. So there must be a hidden force somewhere which is responsible for the deviation. And, using his observations, he performs lengthy calculations and accurately computes the location of a planet which no eye has yet seen, but which is there all the same, as he has just proved. But what does the historian do, on the other hand? He explains an anomaly of the same type solely in terms of the conspicuous statesmen of the time. It never occurs to him that there might have been a hidden force which caused a certain turn of events. But it was there, nevertheless; it has been there since the beginning of history. You know what that force is: the Jew."
"Yes, certainly," I replied, "but to prove it, to prove it! For the last fifty or hundred years, so far as I'm concerned, it's been obvious; indeed, a good deal further back, perhaps even in pre-Christian times..."
"My dear fellow," he replied to me, "we can read in Strabo that already in his time, shortly after the birth of Christ, there was hardly a place to be found on the whole earth which was not then dominated by the Jews; dominated, he writes, not merely inhabited. Already decades earlier, Cicero at that time a great and powerful man, my friend! -- suddenly lost his nerve when, in his well-known defense plea in the Capitol, he was obliged to point out the great influence and the cohesiveness of the Jews: 'Softly, softly! I want none but the judges to hear me. The Jews have already gotten me into a fine mess, as they have many another gentleman. I have no desire to furnish further grist for their mills.' Similarly, the influence of the Jews with Augustus was so great that they completely intimidated Pontius Pilate, who, as deputy of the Roman Emperor, was certainly not a nobody. Thus he said, 'For God's sake, away with this sordid Jewish affair!' as he reached for the washbasin and condemned Christ, whom he considered guiltless, to death. Considering these things, my friend, every child knows -- or rather, could know -- how late the hour already was at that time."
A reach for the Old Testament, a brief flipping of pages, and -- "There," he cried, "the recipe from which the Jews always brew their hellish broth! We anti-Semites are really something. We manage to find out everything except that which is really important." Word for word, he emphatically read with a hard voice:
"And I will set the Egyptians against the Egyptians: and they shall fight every one against his brother and every one against his neighbor; city against city and kingdom against kingdom. And the spirit of Egypt shall fall in the midst thereof; and I will destroy the counsel thereof: and they shall seek to the idols, and to the charmers, and to them that have familiar spirits, and to the wizards.
"Yes indeed," he laughed bitterly, "now the people will seek to Dr. Cuno, and Dr. Schweyer, and Dr. Heim, and whatever other charmers and wizards they have. When asked why Germany has become a pigsty these gentlemen will answer reproachfully, 'You yourselves are to blame. You have no more good breeding, no faith, only selfishness and conceit. Now you will try to put the blame on the Jews. It's always been like that when you have needed a scapegoat. Then everyone has jumped on the Jews and persecuted them unmercifully. And just because they had the money, and because they were defenseless. Is it any wonder that a few individual Jews are behaving in a reprehensible manner now? After all, one finds some black sheep in every group. As if there weren't a good number of decent Jews! Look at their piety, their sense of family responsibility, their sober way of life, their readiness to make sacrifices, and, above all, their ability to stick together! And you? At one another like dogs and cats: sheer insanity!'
Thus will the charmers and wizards prattle on and on, till one night the blood sign will appear on all the Jewish houses, and the infuriated masses, led by the Jews, will swarm forth to smite all the firstborn in the land again as in Egypt."
"Remember how it was here in Munich during the communist takeover?" I interjected. "The houses of the Jews certainly weren't marked with blood, but there must have been a secret arrangement, because among all those who suffered the misfortune of a house search not one was a Jew. As a matter of fact, one of the stupid Red troopers who had me by the hair answered my sarcastic question by explaining that it was forbidden to search the Jewish houses.
"And in 1871, in Paris, the Jewish defense also ran according to plan. There the communists destroyed whatever they could, but the many places and houses of the Rothschilds remained completely intact. All this enables us to understand the place in Exodus according to which 'a mixed multitude' also left Egypt with the Jews."
"In Egypt the scoundrels' scheme succeed only about halfway," he finished. "The Egyptians became masters of the situation at the last moment and sent the 'mixed multitude' to the devil, together with the Jews. There must have been a desperate struggle. The slaughter of the firstborn reveals that clearly enough. Just as they have done with us, the Jews had won the great lower stratum of the population for themselves -- 'Liberty, Equality, Fraternity!' -- until one night they sent out the order, 'Down with the bourgeois! Kill them, the dogs!' but things didn't turn out so well as they had expected. That portion of the Egyptian nation that had remained patriotic turned the tables and booted Moses, Cohn, and Levi out of the country, followed by the inhabitants whom they had incited. During this exodus they carried along as much stolen booty as they could manage, the Bible reports with satisfaction. It also reports, in no uncertain terms, that the Egyptians were glad to be rid of them. The best, though, was the reward the Jews gave their stupid accomplices. Suddenly they began calling them 'rabble,' whereas formerly they had called them 'comrade' and pretended to love them. Imagine the faces these deluded ones must have made in the desert when they heard this."
"The murder of seventy-five thousand Persians, in the Book of Esther, no doubt had the same Bolshevist background," I answered. "The Jews certainly didn't accomplish that all by themselves."
"No more," he confirmed, "than the dreadful bloodbath over half the Roman Empire, which took place during the reign of Emperor Trajan. Hundreds of thousands of non-Jewish nobles in Babylonia, in Cyrenaica, in Egypt, and on Cyprus butchered like cattle, most of them after the most abominable torture!
"From the reign of Nero to that of Antoninus Pius, the Jews discovered a fierce impatience of the dominion of Rome, which repeatedly broke out in the most furious massacres and insurrections. Humanity is shocked at the recital of the horrid cruelties which they committed in the cities of Egypt, of Cyprus, and of Cyrene, where they dwelt in treacherous friendship with the unsuspecting natives.... In Cyrene they massacred 220,000 Greeks; in Cyprus, 240,000, in Egypt, a very great multitude. Many of these unhappy victims were sawed asunder, according to a precedent to which David had given the sanction of his example. The victorious Jews devoured the flesh, licked up the blood, and twisted the entrails like a girdle round their bodies." [Translator]} And today the Jews still rejoice over that. 'If only the various centers of rebellion had cooperated,' triumphs the Jew, Graetz, 'then perhaps they would have already been able to give the Roman colossus its death blow at that time.'"
"The Jews call our Sedan Day celebration barbarous," I remarked. "But they find entirely in order the fact that, year in and year out, they still, after all this enormous time, celebrate in the synagogues their heroic deed concerning the seventy-five thousand Persians, in the feast of Purim."
"None of this evidence seems to make any impression on us, however," he said dryly. "One would think us deaf and blind.
"Before the first clash with the Egyptians, the head scoundrel, the modest Joseph, had pretty well prepared: the seven lean cows, all the granaries filled, the people raging with hunger, the reigning Pharaoh a perfect flunky of the Jews, and Joseph, with a corner on the grain supply, 'ruler over all the land'! All the lamentations of the Egyptians were in vain; the Jew held the warehouse closed with an iron fist until they, in return for a bit of bread, were obliged to give away first their money, then their cattle and their land, and finally their freedom. And suddenly the capital was swarming with Jews; old Jacob was there, and 'his sons, and his sons' sons with him, his daughters, and his sons' daughters, and all his seed' -- the entire hodgepodge. And Joseph 'wept a good while' for joy. Afterward, he said to his brothers: 'ye shall eat the fat of the land,' and 'the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.'
"But some time after this glorious Egyptian citizen of the Jewish faith, one hundred and ten years old, had died, the old Pharaoh also passed away and was succeeded by another Pharaoh, who 'knew not Joseph,' and, seeing the multitude of Jews, who meanwhile had grown very powerful, he became quite frightened. He feared lest: 'when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies'; thus he was smarter than Wilhelm II, who hoped for their support. The Jews must work, he decided. In all seriousness, work. 'Unmerciful,' wailed the Jewish chronicler. No wonder that they breathed vengeance. After all, for what did one have the Pöbelvolk, if not to do the work?
"By now, the Egyptians had forgotten dear Joseph, who was dead and gone but there was no lack of others on whom to blame the state of affairs, namely the landowners, the industrialists, the bourgeois. According to the Jews, no one else was responsible. 'Proletarians of all countries, unite!' And the masses believed it and turned on their own flesh and blood for the sake of the 'chosen people,' who had brought on all their distress in the first place. But to us they touchingly read aloud in school the beautiful story of Joseph and his brothers. No doubt many teachers 'wept a good while.' It's enough to drive one to despair."
He paused with a dark look at the Book of Hate.