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Posted by alex in World War Wheeee! at 4:23 pm | Permanent Link
Kiryat Blona — In war news today, 31-year-old Felooshnika Brittlebaum was raced to the hospital for fear a Katyusha bee-bee was lodged in her ass, potentially causing a very serious infection. Dr. Meir Kandi told Fox News that Brittlebaum oversees a daycare center. Instead of fingerpainting, they have the kids decorate missiles. Brittlebaum had just trundled the last of her charges back into the triple-reinforced-at-American-taxpayer-expense bomb shelter when the siren went off.
While lollygagging to kvetch, Ms Brittlebaum and the broad swath of her unprotected hindquarters were exposed to the World War II-era bottle rocket. We’ll have an update on Brittlebaum’s condition next hour with field reporter Shemp Smith.
Meanwhile, ten miles up the road in Bjit Mshmeal, a caravan of 84 children and elderly was lost when Israeli F16s fired 32 missiles at an elementary school housing Hezbollah terrorists. “Israel deeply regrets this tragic loss of life,” said Ambassador Ellerman. “We have announced a 16-hour [sound of fighters taking off].”
In unrelated news, an American girl protesting the demolishing of a Palestinian doctor’s home perished under the track of an armored bulldozer. “I thought she was an olive tree,” said the operator.