I Made A Snow Man
By: Anonymous

8:00 AM - I MADE A SNOW MAN

8:10 AM - A FEMINIST PASSED BY AND ASKED, “WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE A SNOW WOMEN?!”

8:15 AM - SO, I MADE A SNOW WOMEN

8:17 AM - MY FEMINIST NEIGHBOR COMPLAINED ABOUT THE SNOW WOMEN VOLUPTUOUS CHEST, SAYING “IT WILL OBJECTIFY SNOW WOMEN EVERYWHERE!”

8:20 AM - THE GAY COUPLE LIVING NEAR BY THREW A HISSY FIT AND MAULED, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN TWO SNOW MEN INSTEAD!”

8:22 AM - THE TRANSGENDER MAN WOMEN PERSON ASKED, “WHY DIDN’T YOU CHOSE ONE SNOW PERSON WITH DETACHABLE PARTS?”

8:25 AM - THE VEGANS AT THE END OF THE LANE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE CARROT NOSE SAYING, “EARTH VEGGIES ARE FOR FOOD AND NOT FOR DECORATING SNOW FIGURES!”

8:28 AM - I WAS BEING CALLED A RACIST BECAUSE THE SNOW COUPLE WAS WHITE.

8:32 AM - A MIDDLE EASTERN GENT ACROSS THE STREET TOLD ME, “THE SNOW WOMEN HAD TO BE COVER UP!

8:40 AM - THE POLICE ARRIVED SAYING SOMEONE HAS BEEN OFFENDED.

8:42 AM - FEMINIST NEIGHBOR COMPLAINED AGAIN, “THE BROOM STICK OF THE SNOW WOMEN NEEDED TO REMOVED, BECAUSE IT DEPICTED WOMEN IN A “DOMESTIC ROLE”...!“

8:43 AM - THE COUNCIL OF EQUALITY OFFICER ARRIVED & THREATENED ME WITH EVICTION.

8:45 AM - TV NEWS CREWS FROM ABC STROLLED UP AND ASKED ME, “DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SNOWMEN AND SNOW WOMEN?” I REPLIED, “SNOW BALLS” AND NOW I’M CALLED A “SEXIST!”

9:00 AM - I WAS ON THE NEWS AS A “SUSPECTED TERRORIST”, “RACIST”, “HOMOPHOBE”, “SENSIBILITY OFFENDER” BENT ON STIRRING UP TROUBLE DURING DIFFICULT WEATHER.

9:10 AM - I WAS ASKED IF I HAD ANY ACCOMPLICES. MY CHILDREN WERE TAKEN AWAY BY SOCIAL SERVICES.

9:29 AM - FAR LEFT PROTESTERS OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING MARCHED TOWARDS MY PROPERTY DEMANDING FOR ME TO BE ARRESTED.

MORAL OF THE STORY? THERE IS NO MORAL TO THIS STORY. BECAUSE IT’S WHAT WE HAVE BECOME ALL BECAUSE OF SNOW FLAKES!