Statistics show that July is the month with the most drunken mini-bike incidents in America. The issue has become a National Crisis and we all must act quickly to prevent unnecessary drunken mini-bike incidents. Do it for the children!
Note: I did this a total joke to point out the ridiculous types of stories now used as a "Headline News" to support a growing population of kool-aid drinking, information starved, sheeple in the Jewnited States.