The average American buys 56 pillows? Who believes that?
Then the dude's all...Yeah..that's how they want it, man. Big Pillow, fucking oppressing us, man. It's all a scam. My pillow called My Pillow is the real deal, man.
What about My Pretty Pillow? You can scrunch it up into the shape of a beautiful horse. Then lay your neck in the cradle-curve of its spavined back while it sings sweet unicorn lullabies until your soft palate vibrates.