http://www.halturnershow.com/GangAttacksTurnerAndLoses.html

Tuesday, June 20 2006 2:46 PM EDT

INCIDENT A HAL TURNER HOUSE LAST NIGHT; LATIN GANG PAID A VISIT
THEY WEREN'T HERE TO TALK!

The Rubbish arrived around 6:45 PM and things got STUNNINGLY foul, BLAZINGLY fast. Facing multiple shitbags I was forced to do what had to be done.

Rather than involve anyone else - or have to "explain" myself to some affirmative action nigger or some politically correct zealot -- I took care of it myself. Here's how it went down.

The doorbell rings, I answer. Guy says "UPS" I ring bell to let him in. It wasn't UPS.

I head down to the lobby to find out where the UPS guy is and WHACK- I get hit by something on the left side of my cheek/jaw bone and out comes a chunk of molar from the bottom left of my jaw. Then more from all directions. Whack whack whack -- I'm losing fast. I can't get my brain to function and assess what to do. whack whack whack. My front tooth, previously capped, is knocked out (again). Whack whack whack, another hit under my left jaw, cracks the top off a crown on another tooth. I'm choking on the blood pouring down my throat, blood and teeth coming out of my mouth, pain all over my body, disorientation sets in, I can't even stand up straight. I'm getting it bad and I'm losing.

All I remember doing is heading for the door that leads from the lobby to the parking garage. They were so intent on hitting me, they actually tripped each other and fell. That gave me the single second I needed to get through that door and pull an equalizer.

Thank god our garage has sound-deadening insulation to keep car noise from bothering the families.

Once the danger was terminated, I had to move quickly. But my body hurt and my head was aching like nothing I've ever felt before, my vision was blurry, my heart was pounding so hard I thought I was going to die. I wanted to just go to sleep but I couldn't.

Step 1: Drag the rubbish out of sight. . . . .

and wrap it up in heavy duty plastic, you know, the kind recommended by the Department of Homeland Security for you to use with duct tape to protect your home in the event of toxic or biological attack? I gotta tell ya, that heavy duty plastic really locked-in any leakage from the rubbish I was dealing with last night. Special thanks to Homeland Security Chief Chertoff for making sure I equipped my house with that plastic!

Step 2: Wash away any visible mess and then destroy the DNA

I'm surprised how LITTLE blood comes from chest wounds and equally surprised how how MUCH pours out of abdominal wounds.

I hosed out the garage so the naked eye wouldn;t see anything had happened. But Sidewalks, walls and driveways are porous. Stuff can drip into those bazzilion little pores and a hose won't get rid of it. I would have to do more, but there was more pressing work to be done:

Step 3: Dispose of the problem

Once the hosing was done, I had to dispose of the remaining rubbish myself. I called a trusted friend who has a small, light duty landscaping dump truck and told him I had needed him at my house NOW. He says, I'm eating dinner. I told him, you don't understand, I have some bails wrapped in plastic that I need to dump right now. He understood. Got to my house within 40 minutes.

We loaded the various bags of rubbish in the dump bed, covered it.

My preference would have been to drive to a Marina on the Hudson River that I've used for such things in the past, but the boat I was going to use was not available. A second boat used for such purposes is at the Marina near Liberty State Park in Jersey City. Turns out that somebody else was using that boat to get rid of some other problem! Only in New Jersey can there be a fucking traffic jam for this sort of fucking thing!

Finally, we ended up driving to a Marina on the fucking Hackensack River.

We had to go all the fuck the way down to the Newark Bay, then out to around Bayonne into Lower New York Harbor, around Brooklyn and then out to fucking sea.

Sometimes the damndest things float. It's best if they don't float. So as we head out to sea, we take one plastic wrapped garbage bail, tie a rope around it and around a tie-off on the stern of the boat, poke a slew of holes so that it really start to leak very heavily then toss it overboard to drag along with us as we head out to sea.

You know, certain fish have a taste for the kind of thing leaking out of these garbage bails. Within about twenty minutes, there were at least three discernable fins closely following the leaking bail.

We cut the bail loose. Suddenly, there was a lot of thrashing in the water and the bail was gone.

Since that worked so well we did it again. . . . . . and about a half hour later, again, and another hour or so later again, until all six bails of plastic wrapped garbage were gone.

We headed back in. It was dark and late and I was dead tired -- but being dead tired is better than being dead.

I went to a local doc very early in the morning to get fixed up. He's one of the guys that folks make use of when certain medical treatments can't be revealed to anyone else. He suggested I get x-rays because he's pretty certain I have a fractured skull. Sorry doc, no x-rays. No records.

Believe it or not the broken tooth hurt worse because the nerve was exposed. I got a root canal today and plenty of pain meds.

Once I got back from the doc, I had to finish the clean-up to get rid of any DNA.

Thankfully, heavy duty bleach is a reliable and easy to get cleaning agent that pretty much destroys any DNA. Last night, I bleached, then hosed, then used muriatic acid ( the stuff they use to blast clean stone buildings or even sidewalks) and hosed again. The acid initially gives off a terribly foul odor, but with both garage doors open and a large exhaust fan in the garage, the odor didn;t attract any attention.

Sadly, the shows could not air last night because I was otherwise occupied.

The nicest part about this is that even with what I've written here, nobody can do a god damned thing. There's no evidence.

It's too bad I cannot rely on the courts or police - but I cannot. At least twice in the past, I have received Terroristic Threats to kill me and my family. Each time, I went to the local cops, made the lengthy report and statement, only to have the Hudson County Prosecutor's Office decline to Prosecute. I wrote the US Attorney seeking federal prosecution - never got any answer. So clearLy, based on empirical evidence, I am on my own.

Fine.

I was in a brutal, violent situation last night and, knowing I was on my own, I took care of it with my own resources and my own brand of justice. White justice.