While in prison, Chapman said, he has been in his cell writing letters, reading and thinking.

He also said he has been having conjugal visits with his wife “pretty steady” for 20 years. His wife lives in Hawaii, he said.

He also said he has a “deep relationship with Christ” that started when he was in a Christian camp at age 16.

“So this is obviously very embarrassing for me now, having committed murder,” Chapman said.

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If he were to be paroled, Chapman said, he would go to Medina, N.Y., about 50 miles northeast of Buffalo, where a minister whom his wife met offered to refurbish an apartment and give him two jobs on his farm.

Chapman said he had corresponded with the pastor but met him just two days before the parole hearing.

The reason for the crime, according to Chapman: “Attention, bottom line.”

He said he received the attention but now he feels it was an “absolutely ridiculously selfish act to take another human life so that I could be pumped up into, you know, something that I wasn’t to begin with.”

He also told a parole commissioner, “Fame is ridiculous. It holds no value.”

“It was a very selfish act and I deeply regret it,” Chapman told the board. “I’m sorry for my crime.”
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/29/13553386-chilling-details-of-john-lennon-shooting-recounted-at-chapman-parole-hearing?lite