16 September, 2019

Rhode Island: Captain Cook Ship Found?

Posted by Socrates in Britain, British Empire, brown culture, Brown Man, England, explorers, Hawaii, history, History for newbies, Socrates, Western civilization, Western culture at 1:23 pm | Permanent Link

Pass the ketchup! Newbies, did you know that Brown people in Hawaii cooked Captain Cook? Yep. Brown natives killed the famed explorer, British Navy Captain James Cook, in 1779 after an argument which began after the Brown people stole supplies from Cook’s ship and wouldn’t return them [1]. They apparently cooked Captain Cook in order to get the bones out of the meat (they were, apparently, after his bones for superstitious reasons). But they apparently did not eat him, or so the P.C. version of the legend has it — but maybe they did eat some of him, who knows? Damn Brown people: you can’t trust them to behave, then or now. [Article].


[1] Cook “made detailed maps of Newfoundland prior to making three voyages to the Pacific Ocean, during which he achieved the first recorded European contact with the eastern coastline of Australia and the Hawaiian Islands…” — Wikipedia

  • 2 Responses to “Rhode Island: Captain Cook Ship Found?”

    1. William The Bloody Says:

      Guess the re-naming of the ship to Lord Sandwich was appropriate then? ba-dum-snick

    2. Keep the Kulaks Out Says:

      Maps? We don’t need any stinking maps. Maps be…wayciss! The natives used the maps for kindling because they are advanced enlightened beings.